‘Prepaid’ Sports Betting Payouts Retire With Tom Brady

Here at PrepaidGambling, we typically confine ourselves to the financial side of online betting. Of course, once a year, a single event pops up that pushes everything else to the wayside: The Super Bowl.

Only this year, the Super Bowl isn’t the biggest piece of NFL action.

That honor actually falls to Tom Brady.

Of course, that makes some sense, as Brady practically is the Super Bowl. Or, rather, he practically was the Super Bowl.

On February 1, 2022, the greatest player in sports history called it a day.

After 22 years in the league, Brady’s final numbers are staggering. His career totals are so ridiculous that – 10 years ago – you’d have laughed his lofty statistical futures right out of the room.

And here’s the biggest stat of all: Brady went to 10 Super Bowls in 22 seasons.

In other words, 45% of the time, Brady’s team was conference champion. And with seven NFL titles, Brady’s team won the Super Bowl at a 32% clip.

As a bettor, just blindly picking Brady for any long-term prop would have paid out considerably over the long term. Seriously, if you did nothing but bet on Tom Brady futures for the last two decades, you could retire off it – just like Brady himself.

Prepaid sports betting is a lot easier when it’s a “sure thing,” right?

Of course, now that Tom Terrific has hung ‘em up for good (barring a late-season mercenary return to the 49ers or something), you no longer have any real can’t-miss guys to float your mortgage on.

Sure, the next generation of NFL quarterbacks seems strong enough, with players like Patrick Mahomes, Josh Allen, Joe Burrow, Kyler Murray, and maybe even Trevor Lawrence (if the hapless Jags can get it together for the actual NFL season and not just the NFL draft) looking to pick up the Brady mantle and run with it.

But between them, you won’t get Brady’s 35 playoff wins, 10 conference titles, or seven Super Bowl victories.

So, the era of the sure bet is over.

Well, there’s actually one more sure bet on the boards, but it won’t be up forever:

Where Will Rob Gronkowski Play Game 1 Of The 2022/2023 NFL Season?

  • Not Playing Week 1 -500
  • Tampa Bay Buccaneers +350
  • Any Other NFL Team +550

Look: No Tom, no Rob. That’s the deal. There’s simply no way he’s playing another snap in the NFL, much less the next snap in the NFL.

The above line on The Gronk is a bigger lock than anything else on the boards outside the 2024 odds on The Donald. It’s as “prepaid” as online gambling payouts get.

And we don’t have to tell you, but that’s the best kind of prepaid gambling there is.

In other NFL news, one recent sure thing actually wasn’t.

In early January, Washington Redskins Football Team owner Daniel Snyder indicated that his club would be changing its name to one of a handful of possible mascots.

Later, an “investigative sports journalist” (LOL) did some digging and discovered that one of those potential names – “Admirals” – apparently had an associated URL: www.washingtonadmirals.com.

While there was no evidence this URL was owned by the team, it sent bettors scrambling to the odds boards, which ended up looking like this (courtesy of Bovada):

2022 NFL Specials – New Washington Football Team Name

  • Washington Admirals -350
  • Washington Commanders +200
  • Washington RedHogs +1400
  • Washington Armada +2200
  • Washington Defenders +2200
  • Washington Redtails +2200
  • Washington Brigade +2500
  • Washington Presidents +2500
  • Washington Aviators +4000
  • Washington Lincolns +4000
  • Washington Renegades +4000
  • Washington Sentinels +4000
  • Washington Generals +5000

Of course, as we found out yesterday, that lock was anything but.

Instead, the DC-based ballclub went with “Commanders,” which is fitting.

As the Internet was quick to point out, the obvious and inevitable “Commies” nickname unironically jibes with the region.

At any rate, the era of prepaid gambling deposits is here to stay, but prepaid gambling payouts officially retired with Tom Brady on Tuesday.

Unless, of course, you gamble with Bitcoin, Ethereum, Cardano, or another top cryptocurrency betting option…